Far Sighted
by Just a Little Spark
Summary: "You're not blind, you're just... You were far-sighted, okay? Always looking at something else, something farther away. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Not everyone has 20/20 vision, you know?" (ShikaSaku twoshot) (Now complete!)
1. Chapter 1

_This is relatively canon - I changed a few things in order for ShikaSaku to happen here. I hope you enjoy!_

 _Disclaimers: Cover image not mine, credits to the lovely owner. I also do not own Naruto._

(*)

The first time he saw her cry, she was seven, and the Uchiha had just rejected her offer to join her for lunch.

Nara Shikamaru remembered thinking that it was a peaceful afternoon on his favorite rooftop - until _someone's_ sniffling and hiccuping disturbed the peace. _His_ peace. Young Shikamaru sighed, turned his head a little to the right and saw just the top of a pink head, trembling. He knew that pink hair - it was Haruno Sakura, of course. The only one in his grade at the Academy who came close to as smart as he was; not that he cared.

And while he _did_ find her a bit loud and annoying, the seven-year-old had respect for the young girl. She was smart - unlike their other classmates. He sighed again, knowing this was going to be troublesome, but decided to go through with his plan, anyway. "Oy. Haruno-san."

The pinkette straightened up, and turned her head around to see who was talking to her. She finally caught sight of the Nara, who was looked at her through half-lidded eyes, frowning. "Na-Nara-san?"

He nodded, hummed a bit. "What's up? You're kinda disturbing the peace."

"Oh." She sniffled, rubbing at her nose with her forearm. "I'm sorry." She forlornly looked at a bento box that was sitting next to her, which obviously held more food than was intended for the box. "It's just that... I thought I would ask Sasuke-kun to join me for lunch and..." her eyes watered up again. "And I even asked okaa-san to make me more food so I can share it with him be-because he always seems so lonely and," she hiccuped. "And he told me no, that I was annoying, and-"

Shikamaru frowned. "What a waste of food."

Sakura, not knowing if this was supposed to be comforting or not, shrugged. "Now I have too much food and I don't want to bring this back to okaa-san because she worked so hard on it."

Shikamaru stared pensively at her emerald green eyes, and a strange thought came to his head. He did not like seeing girls cry. It was troublesome, and despite his nature, he really didn't like seeing other people get hurt. Suddenly, her eyes lit up, as if she had an idea. "Ne, ne... Do you want to share with me?"

His eyebrows rose high on his forehead. He hadn't been expecting _that_. "Are you sure?" _Maybe this is a trick,_ Shikamaru thought grimly. _A ploy to make that Uchiha jealous_.

"Yeah," Sakura said bashfully. "Like you said, if I don't eat it now, it's a waste of food. Why don't we share?" Well, he _was_ a boy, and it _was_ free food. Shikamaru stood up and joined Sakura, sitting respectfully far away from her. She beamed at him, and offered a riceball.

(*)

The second time he saw her cry, it was _still_ the Uchiha's fault, damn him. They were fresh from the Chunin exams, Shikamaru was the only one to pass among his peers, and he was about to leave for his first mission after the promotion. That dreaded 'Sasuke Retrieval Mission' - the first of many.

He knew she was going to see them off - he would be surprised if she hadn't. He knew she tried to stop the Uchiha and failed. He frowned as he saw her walking towards them, a slight stagger to her step, and he had the slightest feeling of deja vu. He told her his own prepared speech; that he couldn't take her on the mission. Personally, he _wanted_ to take her - if it had been he, Ino, or Chouji, he would have wanted the whole team present. He had this theory that maybe, just maybe, Team Seven's presence would help ease the situation. But alas, he also knew the consequences. She was still too emotional for this, not on par with the rest of them as far as brute strength was concerned. He would not be able to protect her in the worst scenario, and that was the final nail in the coffin.

For some strange reason, he wanted to protect her. This delicate kunoichi had cried too much over one boy, and it was _troublesome_.

 _Why do people love the ones that hurt them the most?_ he asked himself, as Sakura and Naruto bantered, with Naruto making promises he couldn't keep. Shikamaru sighed, and found himself staring into emerald eyes; the same ones he had seen crying all those years ago. "Shikamaru," she said softly, eyes not breaking contact. "Please."

His eyes, normally hard and thoughtful, melted, if for just a second. "I'll keep them safe," he promised, making a promise he knew _he_ could keep. He trusted that she knew that 'them' was a vague description, trusted that she knew he _would_ do everything to protect his team.

With one final nod at her and Lee, they left.

(*)

The third time he saw her cry, it was his fault.

He was finally healed. His team - _no_ , his friends, were finally out of danger, and they were recuperating. He was lucky to have not been as injured as his companions. It made Shikamaru both guilty and a bit relieved. He knew it could have been way worse, knew that it _should_ have ended horribly, but they still got out of there as unscathed as humanely possible. He had already apologized to everyone, visited each hospital room and apologized as sincerely as he was capable of doing, but there was one person left to apologize to. This was the one he was dreading.

He found her in the outskirts of Konoha, near a training field he knew that Team Seven would frequent. She didn't notice him at first, so he watched her cautiously as she traipsed around the field, smiling faintly at things he knew only Team Seven would understand.

That's when he saw the first tear.

She sat down in the middle of the field and broke down, sobbing into her knees. "Why did you leave us, Sasuke?" she whimpered, her shoulders shaking. Shikamaru felt a strange clenching feeling in his chest. This was more than guilt that he felt; he was sure there were no words for what he was feeling. He retreated more into the shadows, knowing that if he tried to apologize to her now, she would most certainly cry even harder.

It was his fault she was crying. True, it was more of _Sasuke's_ fault that she was feeling the way she was now, but if he had been a smart enough leader... If he had been stronger... If he had thought faster... If they had-

If, if, if.

He left her alone, a frown on his face.

(*)

The fourth time he saw her cry, it wasn't because of him, or because of Sasuke. It was because of a _fish_.

He had been sitting on a bench, minding his own business, thinking of how quiet Konoha had been lately, when a dash of red and pink flew by his periphery, the familiar sound of sniffling noises accompanying it. Shikamaru knew that color combination by heart. He had no idea what had come over him, but he felt the need to call out to her. So he did.

"Sakura."

She turned around to look at him, a mere three feet away. She raised a hand in greeting, obviously trying to hold in even more tears. "Shikamaru. How have you been?"

He stared at her, and frowned. "Sit."

Surprised at his request, she made her way over to him, and sat next to him. "Shikamaru?"

He sighed, and looked up at the sky; anything to distract him from her beautiful green eyes. "Talk to me."

She cocked her head at him, confused. Since when had he ever been concerned for her? Sakura remembered that one time when they were seven, but she never gave it any other thought. Nevertheless, she answered, looking at the ground. "I'm useless. I'm stupid, and I'm useless."

His frown deepened. "Why would you say that?"

"I can't even... I've been working so hard under Tsunade-sama and... I still can't revive a _stupid_ fish!" she cried out, although it was more angry than sad. Shikamaru sighed.

"You're not supposed to get it right the first time. _Troublesome_."

Her eyes flashed angrily at him, and he couldn't help but realize how _green_ her eyes were. "It's not the first time. Oh, forget it. It's too _troublesome_ to properly explain it for you," she snapped, facing away from him.

Shikamaru couldn't help but smirk; this was the first time he had been on the receiving end of the infamous Haruno temper. "Here's a suggestion for you, then. Next time your shishou scolds you for getting the fish wrong, why don't you try hitting her over the head with it?"

Sakura's eyes bugged open, and she was speechless for a moment. She suddenly broke out into a huge grin, and muffled her giggles behind her hand. " _Shikamaru_. You know I can't do that."

He stayed with her until the redness disappeared from her eyes, and her face wasn't so blotchy. As he watched her walk away, a newer, better spring to her step, he couldn't help but smile to himself.

It was nice to see her smile.

(*)

It was a while before he saw her cry again.

Shikamaru continuously watched her as she grew into a beautiful, capable kunoichi. She became one of the most accomplished medical ninjas in Konoha; a great feat for _anyone_. He watched her become an efficient, fast thinker, with a level head, and a strong heart. They didn't speak as much as they used to, as both grew increasingly busy with their own tasks. Sakura was needed in multiple places, since she was easily the best medical ninja after Tsunade. Shikamaru was needed on missions, his intelligence and strategies the best asset any ninja team could have.

But there were times when he'd bump into her on the street, and she'd give him a quick smile before dashing off. Times when he'd be strolling around Konoha, and seeing her train herself to exhaustion. Those who thought they knew her had this theory that she was getting stronger for Uchiha, and for Naruto, as well. But there was a different kind of determination in her eyes, and it was something that he knew well. She wasn't getting stronger for anyone but herself.

He couldn't help but admire her intelligence and dedication, her warmth and strength. Of course, he had a life of his own to attend to. His own teammates, his own friends, and his own girlfriend. He thought that he could at least _try_ to like someone who was at least a little bit attracted to him.

But her eyes weren't the right shade of green.

(*)

The fifth time he saw her cry, it was because of Uchiha. _Again_.

She and her new team, the haphazardly thrown together team of Yamato, Sai, Naruto and Sakura, had returned from their latest mission. But what was throwing her into a loop was the fact that they had actually seen Sasuke.

He heard the news and immediately thought of the pinkette. Shikamaru was eating lunch at Yakiniku Q with Ino and Chouji when he got the message, and debated with himself. Should he go to her now? Or save it for later? He might seem too eager if he went to her now. Or maybe, he could 'bump' into her. See what emotional state she was in... Shikamaru grunted, eyebrows creased down his forehead. _What a drag._

Ino and Chouji looked at each other, a knowing look on their faces. "Y'know, Shika," Ino smirked. "I'd _love_ to be the one checking on my dear friend Forehead, but I'm _much_ too busy with the flower shop today. Why don't you go and check on her for me, ne?"

Chouji chuckled. "Yeah, I was planning on spend the day with Pops, as well. Might as well go check on Sakura."

Shikamaru scowled at his friends. He had never properly talked to them about his conflicting feelings for a certain pinkette, but then again, they knew him almost as much as he knew himself. "You guys are so troublesome."

Ino winked. "That's why you hang around with us!"

With a final scowl, and a last 'What a drag', he set off to look for Sakura, his teammates snickering behind him. Even though Shikamaru decided to wing it, and aimlessly walk around the entirety of Konoha, he still managed to bump into her later that evening, under the stars.

Sakura lay motionless on _his_ cloud-watching hill, facing the sky, hands over her stomach, eyes closed. Her pink hair fanned out around her face, contrasting against the grass underneath her. His breath quickened; he hadn't expected to find her here, of all places. He wondered if he should just let her be, when he saw a tear trickle down her face, and he frowned. Shikamaru hated it when she cried. Even though he had seen her cry multiple times, it still hit at his heart every time.

He sat down on the ground next to her, but she didn't move. It only proved to him that she knew he was there, so he decided to wait until _she_ decided to speak first.

"Hello, Shikamaru." Her voice was scratchy and strained, and he just barely held back a wince. "You always seem to catch me at my worst, don't you?" Sakura's eyes were still closed, but he still opted for a non-verbal cue, and shrugged. "Well, I guess we all have that one friend..." She cracked a smile.

Shikamaru wondered what she was going through. She was obviously trying to be strong; whether it was pride, or just for his sake, he didn't know. All he knew was that what she was feeling now must hurt pretty badly. "Glad all four of you returned unscathed," he replied, leaning against his elbows.

She nodded. "Thanks. Well... There should have been one more." Her voice caught in her thought, and she tried to cover it with a cough.

He sighed. "You tried your best." 

Sakura finally opened her eyes, showing him that shade of green that has become his favorite color, and she shook her head. "Sometimes, my best is never enough."

When someone is feeling their worst, there aren't many things that one can say without insulting the other. Sometimes, the best thing you can do for a friend is to stay with them until they stopped crying.

This was one of the things Shikamaru did best.

(*)

Over the following year, he had seen her cry many _more_ times.

And over the following year, he had been there for her in some way or another.

Whether it was an awkward pat on the back, or his silent presence at her side, he always made sure she knew he was there for her. He stuck to her sorrow like a shadow, wondering when this had started to become a routine. It confused Shikamaru; he had never been so attached to someone before. When did it all start? It was all so confusing.

He also couldn't help but feel proud at the times when she'd surprise him with her strength. She is stronger than she's ever given herself credit for, and he shelved this thought in mind. The body counts - both of people she had saved, and people she had killed to save others, was proof enough. Shikamaru burned the thought into his mind until it became a mantra. It was a compliment he wanted to tell her personally.

Of course, he wasn't there all the time - it would be impossible for him to do so without looking like a stalker. But he tried. And as the war approached, begun, and raged on, he tried his best to stay at her side.

Even if her eyes, his favorite shade of green, were always looking for someone else.

(*)

Through a smoky haze of someone else's chakra, and his wavering state of consciousness, he saw her cry for him.

Not because of him, not because of someone else, but _for_ him.

He knew his chakra was drained. He didn't even remember what hit him; all he knew was that if this was how he died, it would be such a drag. Familiar faces flitted through his subconscious. He knew this was Chouji, carrying him, knew this was Ino who was crying out his name, knew that the rest of the Konoha Eleven had come to see his last moments.

But one last face blossoms into view, and he saw her. Beautiful, radiant, untouchable. Her beautiful green eyes twinkled like stars, shone with unshed tears, and he felt a warmth flooding though his body. This warmth rivalled the red chakra that engulfed him now. It was a slow, steady burning, compared to Naruto's undying flame. It reassured him, hovered above him like a concerned mother, and sang to him.

Shikamaru heard her voice, her 'About to cry' voice, the soundtrack of his life. "Don't leave me, Shikamaru," she said repeatedly, while she pressed her hands to his chest. "Don't leave me like he did." He was conscious enough to feel a strange wetness on his face that wasn't blood; in fact, it was her tears.

He tried to reach a hand up, to stroke her cheek, and tell her that it was going to be fine. But Shikamaru could barely lift his arm, and he winced. Sakura whirled towards him, barking something about saving his strength, and he couldn't help but think that this was how he wanted to remember her.

 _Don't cry for me, Sakura._

(*)

 _I decided to make this a two-shot. The next one will be Sakura-centric, and will also finally, finally end this long journey. The title and summary will make sense in the end, don't worry._

 _Addressing the thought that Sakura seems like a cry-baby in this fic - Sakura is actually one of my favorite characters. I do not see her as weak, nor as a cry baby. Her tears are the reason why Shikamaru starts being protective of her in this fic, and thus, is drawn more to times when he can actually help her and be a shoulder to cry on when she needs it. More will be explained in the next chapter, so don't shoot me!_

 _Shikamaru and Sakura are my ship-whores - basically, I ship them with a_ lot _of people, including each other. I can't help but like this couple the most. They have a special place in my heart, especially since the first one-shot I wrote here on fanfiction is ShikaSaku._

 _Speaking of that piece, I decided to re-write To Love Again. I looked over it a few weeks ago, and had a major cringe attack (cookies for everyone who's a fan of danisnotonfire!) when I re-read my juvenile writing style. But since I loved that one-shot so much, I think I'll re-write it... With a more mature setting, of course._

 _Stay tuned for the second part! Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it._

 _PS It's pretty late where I am now, and I just wanted this up ASAP. If there are any tense changes or grammar errors, I'm going to change them tomorrow. This is what I get for speed-writing._


	2. Chapter 2

_Part Two is here! Thanks for sticking around!_

(*)

The first time she noticed him, he was sleeping at the back of class, an enraged Iruka-sensei bellowing about how the young boy should be 'paying more attention'.

At first, Sakura had frowned at the boy's behavior. _So_ not cool. At least _her_ Sasuke-kun was amazing, cool, smart, and handsome. That little boy in the back with the spiky hair was _not_ Sasuke-kun.

But when Iruka-sensei had asked him a question to teach the little boy a lesson about sleeping in class, he was able to answer. Sakura's eyebrows rose high on her forehead; she was very sure that Iruka-sensei had not taught that lesson yet. As Iruka-sensei begrudgingly walked back to the front of his class, muttering something about 'smart-asses', Sakura stole a look at the spiky-haired boy again.

Maybe he wasn't so bad.

(*)

The first time he talked to her, she was still a student of the Academy, and was crying her eyes out over Sasuke.

 _He didn't even say 'No' nicely,_ Sakura thought to herself, wiping away her tears. He had called her annoying, gave her that usual, cold, unassuming look, and sauntered off by his lonesome. She sniffled loudly. She had even gone through the trouble of asking her mother to cook at least two more portions of the food she usually ate. Her mother had smiled, and asked her if she and Ino were becoming friends again. Sakura had just smiled.

She looked up at the sky, seeing how beautiful it was. Little Sakura really _did_ like rooftops. It was so quiet, and peaceful... "Oy. Haruno-san."

She flinched, and looked around to see who was talking to her. She was surprised to see Nara Shikamaru staring at her, an inquisitive (and yet for some reason, lazy) look on his face. "Na-Nara-san!"

The next twenty minutes or so went by in a blur for Sakura. It was the first time she had talked normally with another person in a long time. It was the first time someone hadn't felt the need to point out her large forehead. It was a nice, honest talk, and even at the young age of seven, she could understand how special it was.

He was actually listening to her, and it felt wonderful.

(*)

The first time she depended on him for anything was during the entirety of the Sasuke retrieval mission. The first one, anyway.

She was so sure that if her heartache was an actual, physical wound, she would be bleeding out all over the streets. Sasuke had not only broken her heart - he had stomped over it, demolished it, and scattered the pieces in the wind. Sakura desperately wanted to go with the team assigned to bring him back. But she knew that she couldn't. He had knocked her out with a tap on the neck. How could she deal with S-Rank criminals?

Sakura stood in front of her friends - the ones who were given the near impossible mission to bring her Sasuke back. Kiba; she worried for him and his impulsiveness. Chouji; was he really going to be all right? Neji; did he care for the now missing ninja at all? Naruto; would he be able to reign in enough strength? Shikamaru; would he be able to analyze each situation carefully, and above all, keep each of them safe? "Shikamaru..." her voice cracked, and she felt a few more tears threatening to spill from her eyes. "Please."

 _Keep them safe. Bring him home._

(*)

The first time she was angry at him, he wasn't there.

As she burst into tears, sitting on the grass where she and her teammates used to trade punches and insults, she cried at the unfairness of it all. She was happy her friends had returned, terribly injured, yes, but _safe -_ but they were missing a person on their team.

She had trusted them to heal her heart, trusted them to bring him back. But they didn't, and it was so _unfair_. Would it have changed if she had followed them? Would it have changed if the team were of Kakashi-sensei's calibre? Would it have changed if Shikamaru had thought out something else, a different plan?

She feels a sudden burst at anger towards Shikamaru.

They failed because of _him._ They didn't bring him back because of _him_. Sakura feels even more hot tears spill down her cheeks, but she doesn't wipe them away. If only Tsunade-sama had assigned someone else to lead the mission. If only the other ninja hadn't been on other missions. If only he had assembled a better team.

If, if, if.

(*)

The first time he made her laugh, she was upset over a fish.

She had long gotten over the disappointment of losing Sasuke. She's forgiven Shikamaru (and the others) inside her head, and has a newfound resolve inside of her. She'll train, and become stronger. She'll work herself down to the bone, and become the kunoichi she always dreamed of being. Maybe next time, she'll be able to go on the mission. Maybe next time, Sasuke will come back with them.

But Sakura is felt anything but optimistic today. Tsunade's stinging words rang in her ear, as she failed, yet again, to revive a fish. Everyone was _right_ \- she was easily the weakest link on her team. Even Naruto was getting stronger, and it was obvious that even Sasuke had gone to his own lengths to increase his strength. And yet, here she was, unable to heal a _fish_. How could she ever be expected to heal a _person_?

A crisp, cool voice cut through her thoughts, and she stopped running. Shikamaru stared at her with his no-nonsense look, and practically demanded that she sit. What was she, a dog? It was strange, though. For some reason, she felt comfortable talking to him. It was easy for her to confide in him her insecurities, her fears and worries. He didn't laugh at her, give her false reassurance, or needlessly raise up her hope.

Shikamaru made a comment about hitting Tsunade over the head with a fish, and Sakura couldn't help but giggle. It was the first time in a long time that she had genuinely laughed about anything, and it felt wonderful.

She walked away from him, feeling a hundred times better.

(*)

The first time she started feeling differently about him, was one of the worst days of her life.

She was numb. Emotionless. In shock. Broken, all over again. She had tried so hard to keep it in throughout the whole time, and had only barely succeeded. Naruto was being annoying, Sai was his usual self, and Yamato was also being very overbearing. She needed time away from them, and so she found herself in a place she knew calmed people down.

Hell, this hill was probably what _caused_ Shikamaru's laziness.

Sakura felt him approaching her, and she closed her eyes, a tear squeezing out. Did she really expect him to leave her alone? She wondered why she was even _here_ , anyway. She could easily be at home, crying alone. She could be anywhere but here, lying on Shikamaru's hill, staring up at the stars.

They didn't speak as much as they usually did, but he stayed with her, and that's what mattered to Sakura. It struck her then; he _always_ knew what to say to her. When they were seven, when he returned, when she was crying over a fish... Even now, he knew that by just being there, he was helping her. Sakura felt strange, the thoughts in her mind clicking together like a puzzle.

How had she not realized that he was always there for her?

(*)

The first person who knew of her conflicting feelings was Ino.

"Of _course_ he has the hots for you, Forehead. How did you _not_ realize that?"

Sakura watched Ino casually place some hydrangeas into a vase. Her face burned; either with shame or pleasure, she had no idea. "I might have been a bit preoccupied, if you haven't noticed."

Ino rolled her eyes. "Of course. Preoccupied."

"It's true, Pig!" Sakura burst out. "How does _anyone_ have enough time to _think_ of anyone's... _Advances_ when your heart is continuously bleeding out?" She frowned, and plucked a daisy from a nearby display shelf. "He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves me not."

"You know you're going to have to pay for that?" The blonde teased. "And all for what, a juvenile attempt to confirm someone's _feelings_ for you?" Sakura continued to pluck petals while Ino sighed. "It was cute when we were like, six, Forehead. Now that we're sixteen, this is just sad."

Sakura stuck her tongue out at Ino. "He loves me not. He loves me..." She stared at the last petal, her eyes popped open. "Pig, he loves me."

Ino smirked, and plucked a daisy of her own from the same shelf. "She loves him. She loves him not. She loves him."

"Ino what-what-what are you doing?" Sakura spluttered, still holding on to the remains of her flower.

"Since you decided that you would decide if he had feelings for you through a flower, I thought I'd do the same to you." Ino shrugged, a playful smirk on her lips. "She loves him, she loves him not. She loves him, she loves him not. She _loves_ him!" Ino mock-squealed, holding the bare daisy up in the air triumphantly. "I knew it!"

"Shut up!" Sakura yelled, blushing even harder. "Kami, Ino-pig!" The pinkette dropped into a chair, staring blankly at the wall. "I don't even know if I _love_ him. I'm in love with Sasuke, remember? You know, despite _everything_?"

Ino said nothing, and instead, stared pensively at Sakura. She knew her best friend, and Sakura did not like listening to other people telling her what to do, or how to feel. She would continue to talk until she came to her conclusion. It was weird, but it was Sakura.

"But I've been concentrating my feelings on someone else for so long that I... I don't think I let anyone in _romantically_ , you know?" Sakura continued, staring morosely at the daisy. "I just continued moping, and training, but I completely forgot that someone was just... There." Sakura felt a wave of confusion, and she buried her face in her hands. "Hell, he's been there for me whenever Sasuke-kun let me down for _anything_. Ever since the Academy! And I was so mad at him the first time they tried to bring him back, you know?"

Ino continued to clean up the shop while Sakura talked to herself. "Keep going, Forehead." _This must be very therapeutic for her_ , Ino thought.

"But Pig, he's just... He's just always been there, and I can't... I can't believe I've been so blind."

Ino sighed, and went over to her best friend. "Oh, Sakura. You're not blind, you're just... You were far-sighted, okay? Always looking at something _else,_ something farther. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Not everyone has 20/20 vision, you know?"

Sakura nodded, and buried her head in her hands. _Now_ what was she going to do?

(*)

The first time she returned the favor was a hard time for both of them.

She had just lost a patient. Sakura _hated_ it when she lost a patient, especially when it was mainly her fault. Of course, she had heard Tsunade's litany probably about a hundred times - _We are not responsible for any deaths, except when we failed to do our best, or we did something wrong._ Sakura gave her all for any patient, and the latest one was no exception.

But whenever she lost patients, Sakura couldn't help but feel that same inadequacy and helplessness she used to feel before. She sunk back into the little girl who could do nothing but cry while other people did all the work.

And so, she found herself sitting on the hospital roof, wishing (not for the first time) that she had a cigarette. It wasn't that she spoke - no, she hated smoking, knowing what it did to your lungs. She just thought it would be nice to have at least some kind of bad habit, something she could sink into whenever she felt bad.

"You've got that look on your face."

Sakura didn't turn around; she knew who it was, anyway. "And what look is that, Shikamaru?"

His footsteps continued until he was standing next to her. "You know. That look. The 'I'm useless' look?"

She made a face. "Am I really that transparent?"

Shikamaru shook his head. "I heard you were the head medic who was in charge of Kenta-san. Thought you might be feeling a bit down, after... You know."

Her ears pricked up at the name of her lost patient, and she looked up at him. "Did you know him?"

It took Shikamaru a while to answer. "I guess you could say I did... I was on the same mission he was on when he got injured."

Her eyes widened, and she felt his calculating gaze on her. _What happened to Kenta-san today could have easily happened to Shikamaru._ "I'm so sorry," she blurted out, but he was already shaking his head.

"Don't be. It's a mission. These things happen."

She wanted to argue with him, tell him that they can be _avoided_ if one is competent and careful enough. But before she could, she looked at him, and was suddenly aware of the blank look on his face. _Of course_ , the pinkette thought, dismayed. _He was the leader on that mission, so he's blaming himself too_. Thankful that she had just avoided an awkward moment between them, she spoke up. "It's not your fault, Shikamaru."

"Isn't it, though?" he drawled. "Do you know what happened?"

Sakura frowned. "I know you were ambushed. How can anyone blame you for-"

"I _led_ them into that trap. I should have known the enemy wasn't done with us yet. I should have taken another route home, the longer one. But I just wanted us home, and..." He sighed again, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Now I have to tell Kenta-san's pregnant wife that he won't be coming home."

There was a long silence between the two of them. He continued standing, while she sat cross-legged on the ground. _Aren't we a piece of work_ , Sakura thought to herself. It was hard to tell who was more troubled between the two of them, but she also knew who would be under the most heat for the next week.

And she knew exactly what to say. The words he spoke to her not so long ago when she lost another patient rang in her ears. "A friend once told me not to beat myself up over things that aren't under my control."

He smiled wryly. "That friend of yours should earn a medal."

She stood up, and without thinking if what she was going to do was the rational thing to do, wrapped her arms around him. She rested her chin on his shoulder, and ignored (tried to ignore) the quickening of her heartbeat. "You did everything you could, Shikamaru. I know you, and I know you did your best."

If she had just turned her head a little to look at him, she would have seen the first blush anyone had ever seen on Shikamaru. But she couldn't, of course.

Not when she was fighting back a blush of her own.

(*)

The first time she cried for him, she nearly lost him.

"Don't leave me, Shikamaru," she choked out, as she pressed her hands to her chest. _Stop crying. Stop crying! A medic is not allowed to cry or show her emotions for anyone, for any reason! Just stop_ crying _for his sake!_

He mumbled something indecipherable, and she wished, more than anything, that her chakra would be enough to save him. "Come on, Shikamaru," she whispered. "Don't leave me like he did." This time, she couldn't help it - a few drops of tears spilled from her eyes, landing on his cheek.

 _Don't leave me like he did,_ she thought desperately, as she poured her chakra into him. _Don't leave me just when I realized that you were always there for me, not when I've just noticed how much I feel your absence when you're away_. She stifled a sob, and if anything, it fuelled her to concentrate even harder.

She felt a bit of movement, and saw him try to raise his arm, only to fail horribly, a pained expression on his face. "Don't- Don't _do_ anything," she scolded him, not able to help herself. "Don't waste your energy on... Save your strength for when you really need it!" 

She watched, incredulous, as he gave her the softest, gentlest expression she had ever seen on him.

Whatever he was thinking, she wanted to know. She wanted to hear his voice.

 _Don't die on me, Shikamaru. Live for me. Please._

(*)

A couple of weeks after the war ended, Sakura reclined on a chair in her new office. It was a small gift from her _shishou_ , after Tsunade had realized she wanted Sakura to head the hospital after the war.

She had never been so glad to stop fighting.

The war still left behind a lot of pain, and Sakura couldn't help but be resentful towards Tsunade for leaving her to pick up the broken pieces. Yes, she knew that Tsunade had nearly died trying to save everyone, but she had, too. It was selfish of her, but Sakura didn't care - she was feeling particularly cranky these days. There were mountains of medical reports and death certificates to be filed, a vast number of new interns to train supervise, and a re-stocking of supplies that needed to be requested. All of this needed to be done as soon as possible.

As for her personal life, she had no idea where to start. Her parents were worried sick about her, and didn't want her to work so soon after exerting so much effort to save the world. Naruto was being thick as usual, sneaking out of the hospital to help rebuild Konoha (as much as he could with one arm, anyway), but at least he was helping. Kakashi-sensei was slowly being roped into being Tsunade's successor, and Sakura could tell that he was going to be a great Hokage. A lazy one, but still a great Hokage. Sasuke was somewhere in this hospital, groaning about his missing arm, while she tried to sort out her feelings (or lack of them) for him... While trying to sedate him long enough so that he wouldn't be performing his own escapes.

She hadn't seen Shikamaru in weeks.

Sakura would be lying if she said she didn't feel a bit hurt. She knew he wasn't in this hospital, since she held all the records. She knew he wasn't on a mission, since most of the high-ranking shinobi were still being debriefed and interrogated for proper documentation of the war.

Really; she had spent a fourth of her chakra alone trying to save _him_. She hadn't heard a peep from him since then, only glimpses at the memorial. She would have expected at least a thank you... Or the chance to express her feelings. She'd never get the hang of this. She would die an old maid. _That_ was something to look forward to.

Sakura sighed, and started walking over to a pile of folders on a side table, when she heard a knock on her door. "Come in," she said, not bothering to look up from the folders. _Look at all the work I have to distract myself with_.

"Is this a bad time?"

Her eyes widened, and she looked up, to see Shikamaru in her doorway. He had a look on his face that she knew so well - it was the look he had on his face when he was trying to figure her out, or assess the mood she was in. "Shikamaru." She stared at him, looking like a deer in the headlights, until she remembered he had asked her a question. "Yes. I mean, no. No, this isn't a bad time. Come on, sit." She moved jerkily, clearing the two chairs that flanked her desk. "I'm sorry this room is such a mess, I've just had it for a week and I still need to organize it."

There was a small smile on his face as he sat down. "Congrats, by the way. I heard the good news from Ino."

"Thank you..." she smiled briefly, and sat across him behind the safety of her desk. The desk she owned wasn't as grand as the Hokage's desk - if she wanted to, she could easily lean over to touch his shoulder. She observed him the way she would any other patient, looking at him from head to toe. He obviously hadn't slept well for the past few days, but who had?

"I would have seen you sooner, but I was out of Konoha the past two weeks."

She raised her eyes to look at him, stunned. That _would_ explain his absence, but why? Where else would he have been? "Oh."

"I was in Suna."

"... Oh."

There was another long silence. Thoughts raced through Sakura's head a million miles a minute - why was he in Suna? She knew Temari was there. What was he doing? Was he moving away? Did he need to leave? Was he _going_ to? Did the war make him realize what mattered?

"You're not going to ask me why?"

She shook her head. "You'd tell me if you wanted to." She wouldn't look at him, wouldn't dare. She, instead, busied herself with looking at the random folders she had gathered on her desk. They were completed medical reports, but she used those to occupy her mind, anyway.

"I was there to... To properly break things off with Temari."

Her heart stilled, yet roared in her ears. "... I see."

"Look at me."

Sakura immediately looked up, her green eyes locking in on his darker ones. "Bear with me, Sakura, because I was never good at this kind of stuff." She nodded, but noted that his hands were connected and forming a circle with his fingers - a habit of his she knew that he did when he was thinking deeply. "I want to properly thank you for saving my life."

"It was no trouble, Shikamaru." She said softly. "I would have-"

"You cried for me."

Her face burned, and she looked down at her reports, the names of places and body parts blurring together. Trust him to remember _that_ detail. "Shikamaru-"

"And I heard you." His voice remained calm, steady. She had no idea how he was doing it. "I heard you telling me not to leave you. Not like he did."

"I would have never forgiven you if you died," she replied, finally giving in. Sakura looked out the window, not knowing that Shikamaru would commit that image of her to memory for the rest of his life. "I would have killed you."

Shikamaru smiled wryly. "That's redundant."

"I wouldn't have cared," she shot back. "I wasn't even thinking about my chakra reserve. I was being such an idiot. I was taking everything that Tsunade had taught me - not to cry, not to waste chakra, not to waste time - and throwing it out the window."

"To save me."

"To save you," she nodded. She bit her bottom lip, wondering what was coming next.

"Do you want to know what I was thinking about during that time?"

She remembered the look on his face, the soft, gentle look. Despite her better judgement, she nodded slowly, looked him in the eyes. "Tell me."

He slowly leaned back in his chair, not breaking eye contact with her. "I was thinking that... For more than half of my life, I didn't like seeing you cry. You might have noticed I tried to stop you every time I saw you cry. And here I was, about to die, and you were crying over _me_." He chuckled, scratching the back of his head. "It was pretty ironic, if you ask me."

She couldn't help but smile as she looked at him. "Yeah, I realized that..." She stood up, bringing a pile of folders with her. Sakura approached one of her file cabinets, one of the first things she installed in her office, and started sorting out the folders alphabetically. "You always knew the right thing to say to me, and for that, I'm-"

Sakura was suddenly entrapped between two arms, pinned between her cabinet and Shikamaru's strong chest. "-Grateful," she squeaked out, hugging the folders she had not put in the cabinet yet to her chest.

"Why _did_ you cry for me?" His warm breath tickled her ear, and she shivered, fighting back a blush.

"Wh-Why wouldn't I cry for you?" she whispered. "I was about to lose one of my... Friends."

"Is that hesitation I hear?" he asked, the hint of a smile in his voice.

Sakura hurriedly stuffed the folders in the filing cabinet, and shoved the drawer closed. Now that there was a bit more space between them, she turned around, her back to the cabinet. Undeterred, Shikamaru stepped closer to her, only inches away from her face, his eyes turning a darker shade then they normally were. "Hm?"

"I cried for you because I was going to lose _you_ , okay?" Sakura muttered, crossing her arms over her chest. She frowned, looking up at the ceiling of her office. "I saw your _life_ slipping away from me, and I was so close to losing it, and... I _couldn't_ , I just couldn't lose you." She bit her lip. "That's why."

She didn't dare look at him. She knew that if she tried, there would be no way for her _not_ to completely act on her emotions. She was a rational, clear thinker. Actions had consequences, and she had no idea what these consequences were if she so much _looked_ up at him.

Sakura froze as she felt one of his hands brush her cheek as he reached up, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "I always thought you were always looking at Uchiha, you know. Hoping." His voice was slower, cautious. She wondered why; until she realized that he was checking if she was still in love with Sasuke. Her heart sped up.

"I used to," she said softly, her voice low, uncertain. "Until you made me realize I deserved more than that."

(*)

He loved her.

There was absolutely no doubt in his mind, now. From the moment she offered him a riceball until the time he set foot in this office, he had always been doubtful of his own feelings towards her. Yes, he admired her. Of course he wanted to see her happy. And he most definitely hated it when she cried. But _love_ , and _care_ , those were different things. Things he had never been sure about, or felt, until _that moment_. And he was being completely consumed by them.

There was a part of him that realized that maybe he had been harboring these feelings for a while now. There must have been some force in him that was always telling him to comfort her, some internal compass that guided him to where she was, some being that taught him the right things to say to her. This beautiful, grossly unappreciated young woman in front of him was all he could ever ask for.

Even though she was nothing but simple, and she would be troublesome, and that their life (if they even had a long one together) would be far from boring, he couldn't help but look forward to that.

"Sh... Shikamaru? Say something, okay? So that I don't feel like a complete idiot?" she piped up, sounding unsure of herself.

Shikamaru couldn't help but smile briefly before he used one hand to gently tilt her chin upwards. "Look at me," he said to her for the second time that day.

"What is it with you and me looking at you?" Sakura asked, her green eyes, his favorite color, dancing with a myriad of emotions. He saw fear, nervousness, uncertainty, and yes... There was that look of hope he had always, always wished she would direct towards him.

"Can't a man enjoy looking at his favorite color?" Shikamaru drawled. He watched, amused, as her eyes widened a fraction before he leaned in, closing the gap between them.

 _The first time they kissed each other was the first time they felt whole._

(*)

 _Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I can't believe I finished this! It's funny how I thought this would be shorter than Shikamaru's chapter - I didn't want to rehash all of the scenes, when you've obviously read through them, but in the end, I couldn't help myself. I kept saying, 'No, no! Add more depth, add more story while you can!'_

 _I enjoy writing chapters in Sakura's point of view - but I also love writing Shikamaru as well, which is why I couldn't help but let Shikamaru end the story. He was the one who started it (technically) anyway._

 _Leave your thoughts! I love writing ShikaSaku fics, but I'm not sure if I got their characters right. I just wish they would flow through me as easily as other characters do (cough cough Ino cough cough Kakashi) (Wait no I don't mean I ship them it's just I love writing them_ so _much, it's not even a job for me)._

 _If you liked this, keep an eye out for a future fic of mine - I'm planning on re-writing and overhauling an old ShikaSaku fic of mine, mainly one of the first fics I published on this site._

 _As always, I do hope you enjoyed reading this fic, as much as I enjoyed writing it. See you soon!_


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